Sweat it Out:
Elliptical 5 minute warm-up
Weight Lift 45 Minutes
Elliptical 45 Minutes

When I decided to start the whole blogging about my weight loss thing, I told myself I would blog about the positive and negative.  My blogging vows were in sickness and health, for better or worse.  So here I am, writing a post that is negative, and not wanting to break the facade of constant cheeriness.  One of my main reasons for blogging is to inspire myself and others. My hope is that by being truthful and honest about my everyday feelings (positive and definitely negative) that I can help myself and others struggling with the same demons.

The other side of weight loss is why did you gain the weight in the first place?  Since I am ultra poor at the moment, there is no money to seek professional help and really work through some of the issues that I haven’t dealt with. For now the blog is my therapy.  Here it is for better or worse.

Whenever I was being interviewed for a new job or for a promotion I was always asked to best describe myself.  The word I always use is adaptable.  I adapted when I got fired from my job at Nordstrom, for reason’s beyond my control.  I adapted when I became a Store Manager of a retail store and had to make the choice between keeping my job and moving 4 hours away from all of my family and friends.  I adapted when my parents got divorced after 30+ years of marriage.  And I have most definitely been adapting to the life of a being a mother & a housewife.

I’m not using any of these adapting experiences so that people will feel sorry for me.  Everyone has things like this going on in their own lives, I am no different.  The difference is the way we handle them.  Most days I don’t think of any of these things or let them get me down.  But then life throws you a curveball and every bad experience in life comes to the surface and that’s all you can think about.  And that is when I eat.  I eat like nobody is watching.  And everyone knows the cycle: I feel bad, I eat, I eat because I feel bad, and on and on it goes.

I say this because lately, although I’ve been doing awesome at the gym, the eating is what is killing me right now.  And let’s face it, the eating is the mental part with losing weight.  It’s the part that needs to get fixed so that the weight doesn’t come back.

I was having a conversation about positive talk with my workout buddy Kelly, and a thought occurred to me that I had to write down.   Positive self-talk is the most beneficial when you’re feeling negative about yourself.  I have people all around me telling me how wonderful I am doing, but for some reason the little voice in my head keeps telling me that it’s not enough.  I have been trying hard lately to drown out the sound of the voice and most days I do a pretty good job.  But then there are days like today where I am tired of holding it back and I’m letting it get me down instead.

I am hoping that through perseverance I can shut that little voice up and move on with my life.  Positive self-talk will be the only way that this will happen.  I don’t want to ignore what’s going on in my head, but I don’t want to feed it either.  And hopefully I will learn how to do that through this whole process.

For a little positivity: Today’s workout was amazing! Each exercise went to 3 sets of 10 reps and I could really feel it.  We are officially half way through phase 1 of “The New Rules of Lifting for Women”.   I may not be seeing the scale move, but I can tell a pretty big difference in the way my muscles feel.  I’m dying for September 1st to get here so I can do measurements.  Also, I haven’t weighed myself in 2 days, and I am trying really hard to break my habit of the daily scale.  I am excited to go to my weigh in tomorrow since I’m past due for my weekly meeting, and those really help to keep me on track.

I hope everyone is having great day and that the voices in your head are full of positivity!