Wednesday Weigh-In Week 2

Hello, friends!

This past week was an interesting one.  Lots of hurdles I had to jump through, but in the end I pulled out a loss.  Phew.

Starting Weight (1/25/16): 293 lbs.
Last Week’s Weight: 285.9 lbs.
This Week’s Weight: 284.4 lbs.
Total Loss: -1.5 lbs.

Unless you are living under a rock you know that the Super Bowl was this last Sunday.  And as a current Colorado resident and wife of a HUGE Peyton Manning fan, it was to be celebrated.

Of course, one of the ways I am programmed to celebrate is with food.

I tried to carefully plan out a menu earlier in the week so that there would be no impulse buys at the store and so that there were a few healthy options.

Luckily, we had just bought a pig and the butcher had it good to go last Wednesday.  So we decided that cooking ribs for Sunday dinner was the way to go.  I had also planned some deviled eggs, and a super delicious spinach salad.

I planned two splurge foods for Sunday: Queso and chips, and chocolate pudding (for the girls, but, yum).

The only problem is that when I came home with the food on Saturday the queso and chips were calling to me.  I ate them, I tracked them.  I moved on.

Our church had a fast Sunday on Sunday (we do this every 1st Sunday of the month and then donate the money that we would have spent on food to the needy) and by the time I got home at noon I was ravenous.  I went crazy.  Stayed full the whole day.  The end.

Things I Learned This Week

-Always track a binge.  Normally if I would have eaten a ton of queso and chips I would have said “screw it” and eaten whatever I wanted the rest of the day.  It turns out that I had eaten about 400 calories and that it didn’t ruin my whole day calorie wise.  I ate a light dinner and stayed in control the rest of the day.  It’s amazing the things we’ll do when we are in our right minds.

-I would have lost more weight if I would’ve stayed within my 1800 calorie limit.  My fitbit is hooked up to my Myfitnesspal account and it shows a calorie burn even if I didn’t work out that day (just from the natural burn your body has throughout the day).  I used this a little bit as a crutch.  I didn’t go super far over my calories, but there were a couple of days that I hit 2000-2200 and I know that made a difference on this week’s weight loss.

-Be mindful of sodium.  My salt intake was crazy on Sunday.  I was trying really hard to not weigh myself the entire week (so that I didn’t get frustrated when the scale wasn’t moving everyday, which is silly), but on Monday I woke up with sausage fingers and was retaining water like a crazy person.  I had to check.  I made a promise to myself when I started blogging again that I would post the weight no matter if I lost or gained.  And I was stressing that I wouldn’t see a loss 3 weeks in and would feel like a failure.  I didn’t want to post that.  Which brings me to my next point…

-There is power in water. I have always done really well at getting in a lot of water throughout the day.  I’d say I drink close to a gallon a day no problem, but after Sunday I increased it to drink half my weight in water.  That’s like 140 oz’s! It worked because when I woke up today my hands felt normal again.  It took two days to get rid of one days splurge, crazy!

-Just move.  I have no desire to go to the gym right now.  Honestly, I don’t have a sports bra that fits me right now and they are either strapped in so tight I can’t breath or loose enough to give me a black eye.  Every time I jump I get frustrated and uncomfortable and I just can’t let myself buy another one knowing that I will fit into about 4 bras after I lose 20 pounds.  And with a chest my size it’s hard finding a bra that is under $40, so buying an inbetweener is out of the question.  So what I have I been doing?

Walking in place.  I do it while I’m watching tv or just killing time in between projects.  I try to get myself to a certain number by a certain time of day and I’ve been averaging over 12,000 steps for the past 5 days (I am so sick of being the last person for steps out of my fitbit friends).

And that’s how my week went!  Until next Wednesday:)

<3 Carrie

Wednesday Weigh In

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Oh Fitbit.  You are so wrong.

I’m guessing that Fitbit counts any time you lose a pound and not necessarily if you gain it back?  Because I’ve been losing and gaining the same 20 pounds since before I had Lucy.

It’s ok, Fitbit.  You’re only fueling my fire to earn a real badge…

I had a great week! Technically a week and a half since I started on Monday, January 25th.

I’ve stuck pretty closely to my two goals, but I know this Gluten-free thing is definitely going to be a learning curve of sorts.  I mistakenly twice ate gluten because I was more worried about tracking the calories than the gluten content (which stinks because experienced gluten-free thyroid peeps say you won’t feel a difference until it has been out of your system for 6-12 months).  And I’m not going to lie.  I’ve been having thyroid symptoms the last few months and it is super annoying when you can’t figure out why you’ve all of a sudden started having them or how to stop them (there is a post in the works for this issue next Monday).

How did the last 10 days go?

Good!

I got a little lax on staying under my calorie goal these last few days, but everything was tracked at least.  I know I would have done a little better this week if I had been more strict.  I’m working out the kinks.

The first week is ALWAYS a good week because you lose that pesky water weight.  It’s what happens after that first week that could make or break you;)

Starting weight (1/25/16): 293 lbs.
Today’s weight (2/3/16): 285.9 lbs.
Total Weight Loss: -7.1 lbs.

Next I need to figure out what my exercise schedule is going to be (it will really help with those every now and again calorie overages).  I have the Beachbody “Cize” program, but the jumping around really hurts my knees right now and with out the jumping the workout is almost non-existent.  I can’t walk on the treadmill unless the hubs is home (and he has been working like crazy lately) and I still get up with the baby twice a night so getting up early is just awful.  I will have to make a sacrifice somewhere, but I’m kind of being a cry baby about it.

Until next week my friends.

<3 Carrie

Please remember that putting your weight out there when you are morbidly obese is a very personal and HARD thing to do.  Be thoughtful in your comments:)  

 

 

Binge Risk

I was prompted to talk about this subject because of a series of post’s I’m following on the blog Runs For Cookies.

When I read the first post on Friday it was like a look into my own brain on binge eating.  She perfectly explains the thoughts and actions you go through when you’re in the middle of a binge.

Before I had Clara I was seeing a therapist.  I wanted to get to the root of why I had a problem with constantly over eating.  I told her that I had a problem with bing eating and she asked me what I would eat in a typical binge:

  • multiple bowls of cereal
  • ice cream straight out of the container
  • goldfish crackers
  • pirates booty
  • crackers of any kind
  • chocolate chips
  • fruit snacks
  • microwave popcorn

This is the short list.  While not every time have I eaten all of these foods there have been times when I have eaten this entire list.

What time of day does it happen?  Always in the afternoon when Dustin is still at work and the kids are down for naps.  I thought it was out of boredom, but I think I have found the root cause.

One thing that has been really hard since having children is having absolutely NO alone time.  I LOVE being by myself.  I enjoy my own company.  I like going out by myself whether it be going to a movie or shopping for food.  I really enjoy spending time with myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy people too.  I love going to couple get togethers and having a good Girls Night Out, and don’t even get me started on how much I love hanging out with my husband, but there is something about being by yourself and not having to answer to anyone else, and being able to do whatever you want with your time.

This is something I don’t think mom’s get enough of when you have kiddos running around.  It’s also something that you don’t understand until you have kids.  Before kids I thought “ya, my kids will need me 24/7, I know that”.  Now I think “24/7 is way more than I thought it was”.

I’m sure I don’t need to say that, of course, I love my kids more than anything.  One thing that is hard is that they always need you.  What’s the saying?

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It is because of this that my own hobbies have fallen by the wayside.  Just last week I was walking on the treadmill in my garage and could feel little eyes on me.  Turns out Hanna had been staring at me for 5 minutes (creepy).  Why do I want to start something when I know I’m going to get interrupted every 5 minutes.  Because of this I sit and watch Netflix while they nap (or in Hanna’s case play quietly because she doesn’t nap anymore) and then I get the overwhelming feeling that makes me want to binge.

Right now I’m just happy that I am finally recognizing this behavior.  It means that I can thoughtfully do something about it.  Read a book.  Listen to music that isn’t Disney (and has some curse words in it, gasp).  Color and draw like I use to.  Give myself an outlet while still having my kids around.  And make time for ALONE exercising (still trying to figure this out, although I have heard that they may be changing the hours of the activity center so I may be able to start going to the gym again).

On a goal note:  I have tracked all of my food for the last 5 days!  Go me!  And I have been mostly staying within my two guidelines. I ate mostly whole foods and gluten free.  I say mostly because I let myself eat a few tracked Oreo’s on Sunday and realized later on that they weren’t Gluten Free (I never thought they were, I was just more focused on making sure they were tracked and that I didn’t go crazy on them).  It’s a learning curve and now I will be more conscience of it in the future.

Mistakes are inevitable.

I can’t beat myself up.

<3 Carrie

Ready to Get My Body Back!

I haven’t really taken a survey of any of my other mom friends, but I can’t help but think there is a moment when you decide you are done having kids that you think “I belong to me again” (as much as you can be, I guess).

My body is no longer growing other human beings and it’s not feeding anymore human beings and I just feel like I finally belong to  myself again.

Don’t get me wrong, I have tried to enjoy this small moment of time in my life.  Feeling a baby move around in my tummy, feeling that bond while breast feeding, and the list goes on.  But I am ready for a new chapter to begin.

I feel the winds of change coming and I couldn’t be more excited!

I stupidly thought that I could make some extreme changes without consequence.  Sunday I set out on a fast to kick start my body into healing mode.  Such a bad move.

No sugar, no caffeine, no food, and going on 3 1/2 hours of sleep (baby is teething something fierce).

It was the perfect s**t storm.

Around 2:00 in the afternoon my head was pounding and I felt like death.  I decided to eat a banana to get some sugar and food in me.  Bad idea.  Cue to 30 minutes later I was head hung over the sink barfing up whatever was in my stomach (for fasting I had a surprising amount of liquid in my stomach).  It was the first migraine I had experienced since childhood.

It SUCKED.

I spent the rest of the day slowly eating a little bit of food at a time, then taking excedrine, and finally I was feeling better around 9:00 at night.

The good news is that I woke up the next day feeling amazing!

I wanted to start out with a laundry list of things that I was going to do to kickstart the new me, but instead I came up with things that are doable, and not overwhelming.

I have 2 rules:

  1. Eat whole foods.  I went to Costso and stocked up on meats and vegetables.  On Sunday I made veggie soup to freeze and baked a bunch of sweet potatoes to have on hand.  I also bought a few packages of rotisserie chicken to make quick salads.
  2. Eat gluten free.  One of the biggest pieces of advice I have taken from all my research I’ve done on Hashimoto’s Thyroidism (and auto-immune diseases in general) is that gluten makes it worse.  It increases your anti-bodies and getting rid of gluten is one of the first steps to get my body to quit attacking my thyroid.  I think this would be a great start for me right now.  (I have actually known this forever, I have just been resisting the change).

Also, I am trying to get more of a routine going with blogging so I am holding myself accountable.  I am starting weigh in Wednesday every week.

Really, I am just trying to start somewhere.  I am trying to be consistent, and patient and know that with time change will come.

<3 Carrie

GOODBYE BREASTPUMP!!!

I have waited almost 9 months to write this blog post.

For anybody who has been following along (albeit sporadic) I have been using a breast pump to feed my last baby, Clara for the last 9 months.

Feeding has been a pretty big frustration.  I’ve been trying to give her solids since she hit 6 months and she wasn’t having it.  In the mean time I was stressing about keeping up with her breast feeding needs and making enough milk for her.  She drinks about 24 oz.’s a day and was not showing any signs of wanting actual food.

When I started with the pump back in April of 2015 I was making close to 40 oz’s a day!!!  this was the most milk I had ever made for one of my kids.  I attribute it from this being the first time I was breast feeding while taking Armour Thyroid (pig hormone), instead of Levothyroxine (synthetic hormone) for treating my Hashimoto’s Hypothyroidism.  I froze a ton in the beginning, but as I started to thaw out the milk for Clara I notice it tasted awful.  Way different that when it is first expressed.  That, and I had been keeping up with her needs and so my stash went bad.

When I hit 6 months my milk started to go down.  If I missed a pump or went a little longer than normal my milk would see a dramatic dip (and yes, I was taking Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle for production).

About a month ago I started feeling awful.  I was having hypothyroid symptoms coming back (major fatigue, constipation, awful periods, light depression, insomnia) so I went to the Dr. to have all my levels checked and make sure everything was ok.

It turns out that my thyroid levels were high and that I needed to decrease the amount of medication I was taking.

I did that about a week ago, but my milk levels have still been dropping steadily.

The good new is that for the last couple of weeks Clara has been eating solids like a champ.  And last night (at 3:30 in the morning while hooked up to my breast pump for the sixth time that 24 hour period) I decided I was done.

GOODBYE BREASTPUMP!

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GOODBYE KEEPING TRACK OF ALL OF THE MILK ALL OF THE TIME!

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GOODBYE CONSTANT BOTTLE AND SUPPLY WASHING STATION!

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GOODBYE GETTING UP AT 3:30 EVERY MORNING TO PUMP FOR TWENTY MINUTES AND THEN TRY TO GO BACK TO BED AFTER I’M WIDE AWAKE!

GOODBYE CONSTANT HUNGER!

GOODBYE EATING ALL THE FOOD ALL THE TIME TO MAKE SURE MY BOOBS ARE MAKING JUICE!

GOODBYE SAYING “you’ll have to wait 10 more minutes until I can get that for you child because I have limited mobility at the moment”.

GOODBYE TO BOOBS BEING EXPOSED AND HAVING KIDS POKE THEM!

GOODBYE HANNA MIMICKING THE NOISES OF THE PUMP ALL THE TIME!

GOODBYE PUMPING IN THE CAR AND HOPING I’M NOT GIVING SOMEONE A SHOW AT THE SAME TIME!

And most of all: GOODBYE STRESS!!!!!!!!  A huge weight has been lifted off of my chest since I made the decision to switch to formula, and that is probably one of the best things about it.

I’m still going to eventually buy myself a present for making it this long.  I did sacrifice 31,200 minutes of the last 260 days hooked to a pump.

Now whatever will I do with the extra 2 hours I’ll have everyday?  I might actually exercise;)  Or clean I haven’t decided.

<3 Carrie

Don’t Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out…

2015 wasn’t my year.

Sure I got this beauty out of it:

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But she came with a new set of challenges that I wasn’t totally prepared for.

-lots of lost sleep

-lots of loss of routine

-lots of stubbornness

But she has definitely been worth it.

I decided about two weeks after I had her to switch completely over to the breast pump and nix breast feeding (my babes are LAZY eaters and it makes it so I lose my milk, and formula is expensive, so there ya go.).  I have spent the last 8 months pumping 5 times a day  for 20 minutes and one of those is in the middle of the night.

At about 4 months she had her sleep regression and has never looked back.  She is up at least 3 times a night (sometimes 4!) and has no signs of slowing.

My second baby was sleeping 12 hours a night with no waking by 9 months.  She also ate solids and was switched over to formula at 6 months so this is uncharted territory for me and I have bought’s of frustration almost daily.

If I could get Clara to eat food I just know she would start sleeping better, but we have had crying fits over my trying to jam the purees down her throat (she doesn’t like it, just in case you were wondering).

Anyway, that is a glimpse into my 2015, and I am so ready for a new year.  I really only have 4 goals this year:

-Track food.  I can’t do any special diets right now.  It is just too hard with life and I figure if I track my food I can eat that treat that I need because I’m sleep deprived.

-Move everyday.  Right now I’m working out on my treadmill in my garage (so cold) for 45 minutes.  It’s all I can handle right now.  My mental state is fragile at the moment.

-Budget.  Get things paid off.  We are lucky enough to not have any credit card debt, but now we really want to start paying off our cars and home.  I just started using YNAB (You Need a Budget), and I am so impressed with it so far.

-Be a YES mom.  This doesn’t mean letting my children walk all over me.  It means to let them do more things and be there for them when they want to do them.  For example, for Christmas Hanna and I made Salt Dough Ornaments and she wanted to paint them.  Normally, I would say no because I don’t want to deal with the mess, but she enjoys it and it is good for her development so I said “yes”. It’s time to stop being a lazy parent and give my kids more experiences.

2015 has been extremely hard on my mental health.  The lack of sleep is just one of the things I’ve been dealing with and it seems to have snowballed into every area of my life.

2016 is a year for change and growth.  Appreciating what I have, and showing appreciation for others.  Mommy is no good unless she is taking care of herself so there will be a lot more of that happening this year!

And my side goal is to definitely blog more.  My weight has gotten crazy and I would love to get things going in the right direction.

I’m ready for you 2016.

Starting weight (for the millionth time):  289.9

<3 Carrie

 

Where Was I…

In my last post I said I would be back for a weigh in and never followed up!  Shame on me for being a busy mom;)

I have been doing this crazy restricted diet since August 30.  So it has been 27 days.  I have not been perfect the entire time, but that’s ok.  I can say that maybe 3 of those days went off the rails.

The first time I had a crazy eating DAY was when my husband went to Texas for 4 days.  Having 4 days alone for a food addict is like precious bingeing time.  I did awesome for the first 3 days.  I kept thinking that it was not about losing weight, but getting rid of this awful rash (which was in remission at the time because I had been doing so well).  Then the last day I went crazy.

I had waffles for breakfast (with syrup which is a HUGE no no.  Then I took the girls to Costco and had not one, but two pieces of pizza (gasp).  And then waffles again for dinner.  It was a bad day.  And even worse, my rash came back full force and it took me about a week to get rid of it!

Then I tried doing a cheat meal with a dessert twice (once a week) and my body is responding to that much better (in other words no rash and getting right back on track the next day).

One thing I have realized is that this problem is not going to go away in a month or two.  I am committing myself to eating this way 90% of the time for the next year.  I have made a list of exceptions:

  • One dessert and off meal a week
  • Eat what I want on Holidays.  In other words, on Halloween I can have a few pieces of Candy, not the entire month of October like I normally do.  And it will count as my one dessert a week.  This way I don’t feel deprived and it gives me something to look forward to.

I can keep to these two rules as long as my body is staying happy, i.e., there is no rash.

I can’t live this diet 100% all the time.  I will fail, and I will spiral.  So far it has been going great!

So here is the weigh in for the past 27 days.  (BTW, before I started this diet in August I went crazy and ate all the foods I knew I would have to say goodbye to for a while so my start weight was high).

Starting weight before Candida Diet: 288.5 lbs.
Today’s weight after 27 days: 271.9 lbs.
Total Loss: -16.6 lbs.

Not bad, right?!

For right now if I continue to eat the way I am eating (meat and veggies, plus one cheat meal a week) I will lose about 2 pounds a week which is fine by me:)

Plus I am still breast-feeding so that is helping out a bit too.  Although, I’m pretty sure I won’t make past 6 months because my milk dropped about 10 oz a day and my babe is eating everything I pump.  Luckily, I have quite a bit of frozen breast milk, and I will eventually start supplementing with formula.  I admit that I get a bit of mommy guilt from quitting so soon, but I have to make my body healthy again and it may come at the cost of my milk supply.  I’m sure Clara would rather have a healthy mom:)

<3 Carrie