Monday, Monday. So Good to Me

Name that song.  My mom made me listen to oldies growing up.

I had another great week!  Honestly, when I got on the scale I thought it was going to read the same number as last week.  But it just goes to show that when you make small changes good things will happen over time:)

Some success’ from this past week:

  • Worked out 5 times!  It would have been six, but Hanna started doing Gymnastics on Saturday mornings and it threw me off.  This week I will plan better.  I’m finding that I will eventually need to wake up at 6am a couple of mornings a week to accommodate me and the kids schedule’s.
  • Drank a gallon of water every day.  I’m actually really good at drinking water.  It has been a habit that has stuck with me since I got off of the sauce (Diet Coke) about 13 years ago.
  • I didn’t step on the scale the entire week.  I know that there are some people who do really well with weighing in everyday, but I am not one of them.  I want to see a loss everyday, and that is just not possible when you are losing weight as slowly as I am.  With the weight fluctuating daily it makes me insane and then I eventually binge.
  • I had no ice cream.  I know this seems small, but since this last pregnancy I have had ice cream at least once or twice (or more!) a week.
  • I replaced one meal a day with a green protein smoothie.  This helped me to keep my calories in check by having a very low-cal meal every morning to start my day.
  • I got my 10,000 steps in EVERYDAY. Movement is one of my big challenges.  Even when I workout I tend to park my butt on the couch for the rest of the day.  On Sunday I forgot to put my Fitbit on before I went to church so I was at about 200 steps by the time 1:30 rolled around.  I spent the rest of the day trying to get in all of my steps (that meant walking around my living room while watching Supernatural) and finally got them all in by 9:30.  I felt so much better.

So how did it show on the scale?

Starting weight 8/10/15:  288.5 lbs
Last week’s weight:  285.3 lbs
This weeks weight:  284 lbs
Total week’s loss: -1.3 lbs
Total overall loss:- 4.5 lbs

See?  Not bad.

Another plus to this week?  The hub’s is down 6 lbs as well:)

This Week’s Goals:

  • Continue writing all food down in my food journal
  • Meal Plan (already done, woot! woot!)
  • Workout 6 times
  • Drink one gallon of water a day
  • Keep eating to three meal a day plus one snack

Here’s to another great week!

<3 Carrie

Weekly Goals & A Weigh In

Hey hey hey!  How is your week going?  Mine went pretty good:)  I didn’t stick to as strict of a diet as I was going for, but after a couple of really rough days with sleep and feeling pretty crappy I decided to give myself some slack in the food dept.  I made it a goal to just stay away from sugar and write all of my food down in my food journal.  In the end I would say it was a successful week!

Guess what?!  It’s weigh in day!

I hate having to post my weight.  “Why is that Carrie?”.  Thank you so much for asking.

It is embarrassing.  It is my highest (post pregnancy), and it is daunting.  I am planning on breast-feeding my newest babe till she is one and a huge dip in my calories means a huge dip in my milk supply.  I would really love to not have to buy any formula with this baby (holy expensive!).  It seems that if I go below 2300 calories a day my supply suffers.  This is a very doable calorie range, but it also means that the weight loss will be slow.

I can deal with it, but here’s the thing.  My hubs is a motivated little bunny lately.  He’s been going to the gym for the past two months and he just started a boxing class two days a week.  He only has about 30 pounds to lose and I already see a difference.  It is great!  I am so happy that he has decided to get healthy, it makes my heart happy.  But I totally get in the comparison trap.  He sees results much quicker than I do and it can get frustrating.  For right now I am trying to not get resentful and continue being stoked for all the wonderful changes he is making. I have some wonderful changes that are happening too and I can’t let those success’ go unnoticed.

So how did last week go? I worked out 5 times and did my Beach Body Cize program.  It was really fun and I am definitely getting better.  I started a 100 a day push-up challenge with MamaBear Fitness.  I use my stability ball for good form and do 10 sets of 10 with 30 seconds of rest in between each set.

I’ve also been writing all of my food down in my food planner.

Here is how it panned out on the scale:

Starting weight (8/10/15): 288.5 lbs.
Today’s weight (8/17/15):  285.3 lbs.
Total loss: -3.2 lbs.

I also had Dustin take some before photo’s of me and I will take some after when I finish the Cize workout program in about 6 weeks.

Goals for the Week

  • Workout 6 days this week (already done for today, woot! woot!). And complete 100 push-ups a day for the challenge.
  • Drink 1 gallon of water a day
  • Write all of my food down in my food planner
  • Get at least 7 hours of sleep a night (sometimes I have no control over this because of baby)
  • Hit my 10,000 step count goal everyday this week

Hope you are all having a great week so far!

<3 Carrie

Sleep Deprived

Guys.  Last night was a long one.  Clara was up at midnight, 3:30 (and then I have to go pump for 20 minutes), 4:45, 6, and 6:45.  After the last crying jag at 6:45 I played dead until Dustin figured out that I was NOT leaving that bed so he got up with her.

I had planned on getting at least one glorious hour of sleep, but I was restless and a little nauseated.

I mentioned yesterday that I started a new way of eating for 30 days.  Monday was day 1.  Ever since I had Clara I’ve been a sugar monster.  I have been basically eating what I want when I want. Breast feeding helps out with not gaining a crazy amount of weight, but not sleeping at night creates cravings like nobody’s business.  I’ve been trying to make the sugar bugs go away and so I cut out sugar, bread, and grains for the next 30 days.  I’ve been eating mainly vegetables, fruits, and meat.

But I’m in the detoxing phase right now and for the last 24 hours I’ve had an intense headache.  I know that it will take a few days to feel normal again, but after waking up so many times last night and having a headache I dipped into my leftover Percocet stash I had from my c-section.  I ate a banana before I took it, but when I got out of bed I was dizzy and nauseated.

I’m kind of wondering if, since Clara drinks breast milk, she is maybe going through a detox of her own?  She eats the same things I do and if I was a baby feeling the way I’m feeling right now, I would wake up a ton and feel miserable too.

She is also teething.  I see two little teeth buds on her bottom middle gums.

Can I catch a break?!

When I woke up I immediately made myself 3 scrambled eggs, and had another banana with some peanut butter on it.  I waited an hour, still felt awful, and so I broke down and had two pieces of toast with some butter.  I started feeling better after that.

Super frustrating.  Especially since I am trying to steer clear of gluten (this has to do with my thyroid, and I will write-up a separate post of why it is important to stay away from gluten when you have an autoimmune disease).

The thing is…. life will always get in the way of your goals.  Making changes that need to be made is tough and it is always harder after you make the decision to just start.  I can let no sleep ruin my day.  I can also go back to sugar to get rid of the headaches.  But really those things make life even harder in the grand scheme of things.

So today I focus on taking it a little at a time.  I may not do much.  I may take a nap when my kids are sleeping (who am I kidding, that will totally happen).  But I know that I will track my food and stay on track for the rest of the day.  After a while these days will be more predictable and I will figure out how to make it work (and hopefully this kid will figure out how to sleep again).

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That’s right baby girl.  Sleep it off.

<3 Carrie

Twenty-Six Dollars Later…

Holy cow guys?!  Is anybody even out there still?

<insert cricket noise>

I’ve been getting this super annoying email every few days or so letting me know that my domain name was going to expire and that I needed to cough up $26 to keep the blog going.  I went back and forth because it has been so long since I’ve written anything worth while (having 3 kids in 4 years will do that to you).

But guess what?!

I’m done having kids! (cue ecstatic smily emoji here, and also tear emoji).

It is so hard to find motivation when you are still in birthing children mode.  Knowing that you’re just going to gain back that 40 pounds you just lost is so uninspiring.

But I’ve had a little more inspiration since I popped out baby number 3 in April.  I’ve lost most of whatever I gained with the pregnancy, but that still leaves quite a few pounds to go.  Let’s just say I still have a long road ahead of me.
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I still can’t believe how little they are in the beginning.  So worth it.  Hands down, best reason for gaining weight.

Anyway.  Life’s starting to get back to normal (or our new normal) now that Clara is almost 4 months old.  I keep waiting for things to “calm down” and then I’ll start doing something about losing weight, but I don’t see an end in sight for being busy so I am trying to just make it work in my daily life.

I don’t want to overload this first post since so many things have been going on in the last two years since I’ve been regularly blogging.  I’ll just say that I started a 30 day self-inflicted challenge yesterday.

I started exercising again, and I am doing the program “CIZE” from Beachbody.  The last couple of days have kicked my butt, but I’m feeling good.  I have also started a new eating program that resembles the Paleo diet.  I will write a more in-depth post on more details soon.

I can’t say there will be a post everyday, but I am making it goal for at least once a week.  Having 3 kids is no joke and I am amazed at how much busier I am going from 2 kids to 3.  It is tough, but something that can make it easier is getting off some of this pesky extra fluff.

Super excited to be back (even if nobody reads, this is more for me)!

<3 Carrie

The Homemade Ranch That Changed My Life

I am thoroughly convinced that the only reason I love and eat vegetables as an adult is because I drenched them with salad dressing when I was a kid (that, and my dad would melt Velveeta cheese on broccoli for Sunday dinner causing it to be my favorite vegetable).

One of the healthy habits that I have stuck with this year (besides drinking a crap-ton of water) is making my own salad dressing.  Back in March when I did The Whole30 it was impossible to find a bottle dressing that met the guidelines of this program.  There was always soy ingredients.  In everything.  So frustrating!

I went online and found a ton of different dressing recipes and found that I had most of the ingredients on hand already.  It became fun finding different tastes to go with different vegetables.  It was also one more way to live an unprocessed life (homemade is better on so many levels).

There are three things that are never store-bought at our house anymore:
1. Bread (I can post my recipe for this as well if anyone wants it)

2. Soup

3. Salad dressing

The discovery of this Ranch recipe was a happy accident.  We were having the missionaries over for Sunday dinner and I was going to make Ranch from a packet, and realized I forgot to buy a packet at the store.  So I turned to my pantry and my fridge to see what I had to work with.

I didn’t really know what went into a packet, but I knew that there was lots of green stuff, salt, garlic and mayo.  What I had come up with changed me and my children’s life (dramatic much?).  Disclaimer:  This is not defined as a “healthy dressing”.  I do use this delicious dip to get my 3 year old to eat vegetables (which she wouldn’t touch until I added a little of this dressing).  Lastly, I am all about using full fat options (foods that are fat free are WAY MORE PROCESSED, and have way more junk in them.  I would rather eat a little with some fat than be able to eat a lot with no fat.

Homemade Ranch Dressing (yields 2 cups)

1 cup Mayo
1/2 cup Greek Yogurt (I prefer Fage or Chobani)
1/4 cup Flat Leaf Parsley (I use litehouse freeze dried herbs)
2 Tablespoons Chives
1 Teaspoon Dill
1/4 Teaspoon Garlic Powder
1 Teaspoon Sea Salt
Milk for desired consistency

Put all of the ingredients in a bowl (besides the milk) and mix.  Add milk until you have the desired consistency.  Refrigerate.

When you go to test this dressing put it on a vegetable to taste!  It makes a difference rather than just using your finger ;)

IMG_0937Let me know if you try it out!

 

 

Getting to the Root

I know its been forever since I’ve really sat down and wrote a blog post.  I’m out of the habit.  I’m not sure what I want to write about.  Nothing noteworthy is going on. 

But I think that is about to change. 

I don’t know how to segway into it so I’m just going to BLURT it out…

I started counseling this week.  I know this is going to be new information to some readers and there will be people who are wondering why I didn’t give them a phone call for the heads up, but it feels weird to call people and say “I know I called you, but let me talk about me for a minute”.  Anybody else feel this way?  I also feel like people get hurt because it is almost like saying “I don’t want to talk to you about my issues even though you love me and want to help me”

I’m not going to say exactly what happened because it would lead me to tell other people’s stories, and that’s not what I’m here to do.  I’m here to tell my own story.  But my husband had a conversation with a loved one a few months ago and he immediately came home and told me that I needed to go to counseling. 

Dustin says he has been encouraging me to do this for years, but I can matter-of-factually say that I never felt the OK until that day. 

I had my first session yesterday.  I bawled the entire time.  I was all over the place.  But I left with a sense of accomplishment.  I had taken the first step to getting healthy (both mentally and physically). 

I obviously am not going to share every detail about therapy, but I do want to share some of it.  Especially if it helps.  I would love nothing more than to help someone else to know there is help out there. 

————————–

My First Session

This is the time where we are playing the getting to know you game.

She asked me why I was there and I told her that I have a complusive eating addiction that I can’t seem to grasp a hold of.  I also told her that I am all over the place, emotionally speaking.  One day I feel and react one way, and the next day I act totally different to the same situation. 

We talked for an hour and I cried from the very second we first started talking.  I think I may have been shaking her hand exchanging names with tears in my eyes. 

She did nothing but listen and ask a few questions, but the rest was all me. 

By the end she had me write down a book she wanted me to read “Women, Food, and God” by Ganeen Roth, and asked me the three things I wanted to accomplish which I would like to share with you guys:

1.  To connect with my feelings.  As in, know how I am  feeling about certain things so that I can properly deal with my emotions. 

2.  To lose weight, and gain control of my eating habits. 

3.  To increase my self esteem.  I put on such a good front.  When I tell people that I don’t have a very good self esteem they look shocked. 

I’m about half way through the book (it definitely reads like a psychology text book), but there are some interesting views from it (I will do a book review). 

The last thing that the Therapist said is that she would like to give me some easy homework for the next week.  She wants me to slow down and go easier on myself.  Breathe.  Quit beating myself up for all the things that I am not, and start recognizing the things that I am. 

Here’s to getting healthy. 

 

Starting Over, and Over, and Over…..

Weight loss seems to be a never-ending battle.  Even when you’ve lost the weight they say that maintenance is harder than the initial losing.

Guess what?

I’m starting over….. again.

I’ve done a lot of research these past couple of months and have come to some overwhelming conclusions.  My diet needs to be widdled down to very little foods for the healing of my Autoimmune Disease.

Let me back up a little.

Last month I had a miscarriage.  The hub’s and I are trying to eek out one last child before I turn 36 next year.  I am so overwhelmingly happy with my two little girls, but I can’t help but think there is one more out there for me to love and care for.

I’m no spring chicken and so we decided to not wait very long after Lucy and got pregnant on the first try (the same as with Lucy).

The pregnancy felt weird from the beginning and when I woke up two weeks ago I was bleeding pretty heavily (sorry for the TMI).  I was told to go to the ER.  I was there for 5 1/2 hours and it was awful.  My hub’s was in Denver and so I was trying to communicate to him what was going on by phone and when I wasn’t talking to him I felt so alone.

These last couple of weeks have left me with a lot of deep thought.  The truth is that I have not felt like myself since I had Lucy over a year ago.  I go through peaks and valleys with emotion and it is just recently that I have started to put the pieces together.

My thyroid disease is affecting me.  Big time.  I need to just go all in and take care of it.

One thing that I did find is this informative book:

I’ve read A LOT of health books.  This book has been the most comprehensive book I have read to date.  I also believe that there is no one way to eat for everyone.  I have tried just about every diet out there and it makes sense now why none of them worked.

I have a disease and it takes a special way to eat to put  my disease into remission.

If you have heard, or read this book you know that it is quite restrictive.  But it is also not a forever way to eat either.  To ensure that I have success with it I am doing baby steps.

Step 1:  Remove gluten from my diet. GLUTEN IS EVERYWHERE.  I may as well say stop eating process foods (which is good anyway and SHOULD be done).

Step 2: Remove Soy Products from my diet.  This goes with gluten, it is everywhere!  Soy Lecithin is a major ingredient in pretty much everything!  Try to find a cooking spray that doesn’t have soy in it.  I dare you.

Step 3: Remove all dairy.  I actually don’t eat that much dairy (a habit I picked up from my tries at going Vegan).  It gives me horrible heart burn, and I feel awful after I eat it.

Step 4: Remove all processed foods.  I don’t have too much of a problem with processed foods, but I do have a problem with going out to eat a couple of times a week which would have to stop.

Step 5:  Keep life in perspective and don’t be too hard on myself if I slip up.  Breaking 35 years of bad eating habits is hard, but starting somewhere will help the process.

For right now I am working on the Gluten.   That’s actually a really big thing.  One of the number one things I read about with Autoimmune disease is that Gluten should be cut out for life.  It is a huge contributor to many autoimmune symptoms.

I have been trying to keep track of how I feel after eating certain foods and I have noticed that I feel lethargic and even sometimes nauseated about an hour after I ingest gluten (and even grains in general).

So that’s where I am right now.  It feels good to start somewhere.  I feel like my life has been not my own for the past few months and I want it back.

Thanks for reading!

Carrie

PS.  I also rejoined the gym and can start going next week, yay!